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We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery.... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the Dollar Tree
Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
I saw your Tumblr pictures….. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
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