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4th of July
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Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
Your gift will be arriving late or never.
I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
You say Merry Christmas... I say pass the vodka.
...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
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