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We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
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