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It's October, so you know what that means....... Merry Christmas!
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
I saw your Tumblr pictures….. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
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