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No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
Warning: I'm in Bitch Mode and I can't be responsible for what happens today.
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
I scored 400 on Flappy Bird, should I put this achievement on my CV ?
Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
I wonder if she's still mad at me. Oh wait, she just "liked" my status. We're good.
You want to know secret, how I reached high scores on Flappy Bird? I tap the screen with my middle finger.
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