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Thinking of you
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That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
When everyone is arguing about something you solved a long time ago, but won't let you talk...
If I’m still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don’t deserve a sandwich.
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. Except pizza. Or cake...
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
Before you ask someone why they don't like you, ask yourself why you care.
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
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