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Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
Water is so good when it’s mixed with barley, hops, and yeast.
I scored 400 on Flappy Bird, should I put this achievement on my CV ?
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
I didn’t invent the word Bitch, I just perfected it.
No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
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