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Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
I don’t get how people can have sex on airplanes. Where do they shower and cry when they’re done?
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
Water is so good when it’s mixed with barley, hops, and yeast.
Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
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