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I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery.... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the Dollar Tree
All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
Your gift will be arriving late or never.
Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
