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All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
You say Merry Christmas... I say pass the vodka.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
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