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...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery.... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the Dollar Tree
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
I saw your Tumblr pictures….. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
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