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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery.... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the Dollar Tree
All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
I’m dreaming of a White Christmas. But if the white runs outs, I will drink the red.
Your gift will be arriving late or never.
...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
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