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What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
I scored 400 on Flappy Bird, should I put this achievement on my CV ?
Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
You want to know secret, how I reached high scores on Flappy Bird? I tap the screen with my middle finger.
Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
If I’m still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don’t deserve a sandwich.
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