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Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
Sometimes I look at my husband and think... "Damn, you are one lucky man."
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
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