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I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
Just added my son as a friend on Facebook and his status said WTF mom It’s so cute of him that he greeted me with Welcome To Facebook Mo...
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my husband to go swimming.
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