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Even the fish wouldn't have got caught if he would of kept his mouth shut
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
My life is a very complicated drinking game.
When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
We can't all be princesses, someone has to clap when I walk by.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
The older I get, the more I realize how much I fucking hate people.
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
You can't fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
