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Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
The older I get, the more I realize how much I fucking hate people.
My top 5 exercises: 1) jumping to conclusions 2) flying off the handle 3) carrying things too far 4) dodging responsibilities 5) pushing my luc...
I must admit, you brought religion into my life, I never believed in hell until I met you.
It's a bird! It's a plane! No... wait... It's just that flying fuck I don't give.
Of course I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep my halo straight.
Honey, stop with the lies. Did you forget we know you in real life?
I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
Today I will not be Wearing a bra, Getting dressed, Or leaving the house Lazy Sunday
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