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I'm pretty sure the cops are going to come question me tomorrow, about the wings I just murdered tonight.
Sometimes when people are talking to me I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them right in the face.
I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be a princess. No seriously. Somebody needs to fix this.
I must admit, you brought religion into my life, I never believed in hell until I met you.
I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
Sunday...a day of rest...REST of the laundry, REST of the housework and REST of all the other crap I didn't do Yesterday!!!
My favorite winter activity is going back inside and putting my pajamas on.
Men will never know the agony of childbirth, menstrual cramps or taking off glitter nail polish.
Instead of milk with my cereal I use vodka, and also instead of my cereal I use cranberry juice.
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