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This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
If I’m still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don’t deserve a sandwich.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
I wonder if she's still mad at me. Oh wait, she just "liked" my status. We're good.
I'm having an "out of money" experience!
Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
You want to know secret, how I reached high scores on Flappy Bird? I tap the screen with my middle finger.
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
Happiness is finding half a bag of gummy bears in the bottom of your purse.
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