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Thinking of you
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I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the mall.
Don't forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men.
Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness. God didn't give me a sixth sense for nothing.
If you can not win an argument, correct their grammar instead.
The best thing about you and me is me.
My condolences on losing your balls.
America was not shut down properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without guns? (Recommended)
I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.
I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
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