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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
My condolences on losing your balls.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the mall.
Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness. God didn't give me a sixth sense for nothing.
I'm going to hell in every religion!
Men: if you ever wanna know what a woman's mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open. All.The.Time.
Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
Don't forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men.
America was not shut down properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without guns? (Recommended)
Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite in the same week.
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