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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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I'm going to hell in every religion!
Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness. God didn't give me a sixth sense for nothing.
Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite in the same week.
America was not shut down properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without guns? (Recommended)
I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
If you can not win an argument, correct their grammar instead.
Don't forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men.
Men: if you ever wanna know what a woman's mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open. All.The.Time.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the mall.
I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.
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