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Thinking of you
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Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness. God didn't give me a sixth sense for nothing.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the mall.
I'm going to hell in every religion!
I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.
Men: if you ever wanna know what a woman's mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open. All.The.Time.
I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
America was not shut down properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without guns? (Recommended)
Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
Don't forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men.
Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite in the same week.
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