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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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America was not shut down properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without guns? (Recommended)
The best thing about you and me is me.
If you can not win an argument, correct their grammar instead.
Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.
I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the mall.
My condolences on losing your balls.
Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite in the same week.
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