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4th of July
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Stop saying I'm hard to shop for. Surely you know where a liquor store is.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back.
Emelie 25! From a bunch of sexy bitches to another, Happy Birthday!
Because family is forever. Happy birthday, bro! :*
Happy Birthday Joe!
Someday I'll be a 90 year old woman. With my same dirty mind and even dirtier mouth. It's going to be AWESOME.
It's scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
I was going to make you a rum cake for your birthday. But now it's just a cake, and I'm drunk.
Have a good one, Gert!!
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