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Happy Birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
I was going to make you a rum cake for your birthday. But now it's just a cake, and I'm drunk.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
Happy anniversary on escaping your mom's womb.
Someday I'll be a 90 year old woman. With my same dirty mind and even dirtier mouth. It's going to be AWESOME.
Emelie 25! From a bunch of sexy bitches to another, Happy Birthday!
Stop saying I'm hard to shop for. Surely you know where a liquor store is.
Happy Birthday Joe!
Happy anniversary of your escape from the womb.
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