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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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The best way to remember your 30th birthday, is not at all. Have fun.
Happy 24 hours of constant Facebook notifications day.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
I just can't get Enough of Owls.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Stop saying I'm hard to shop for. Surely you know where a liquor store is.
It's scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
Happy birthday to someone smart gorgeous, funny & kinda reminds me of myself!! From one fabulous bitch to another!!
I was going to make you a rum cake for your birthday. But now it's just a cake, and I'm drunk.
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