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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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Don't forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men.
If you can not win an argument, correct their grammar instead.
I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
Men: if you ever wanna know what a woman's mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open. All.The.Time.
I'm going to hell in every religion!
Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness. God didn't give me a sixth sense for nothing.
Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite in the same week.
My condolences on losing your balls.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the mall.
If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
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