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Thinking of you
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I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
It's remarkable how long we've tolerated each other.
I'm sorry but there's no "clear history" button for your vagina.
Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming for my vagina.
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the person is a complete idiot.
I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.
I can't believe how much I am not sick of you.
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
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