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I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.
I'm sorry but there's no "clear history" button for your vagina.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming for my vagina.
Happy birthday, Claudiu!
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Where should we drink lunch today?
It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook
It's pretty cool that we've been together for however long we've been together.
