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Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.
I'm sorry but there's no "clear history" button for your vagina.
It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook
It's remarkable how long we've tolerated each other.
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming for my vagina.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to know that if I act on ...
Happy birthday, Claudiu!
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