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Happy birthday, Claudiu!
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
I can't believe how much I am not sick of you.
Where should we drink lunch today?
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the person is a complete idiot.
Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to know that if I act on ...
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
It's pretty cool that we've been together for however long we've been together.
I'm sorry but there's no "clear history" button for your vagina.