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Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.
Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming for my vagina.
I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.
It's remarkable how long we've tolerated each other.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the person is a complete idiot.
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to know that if I act on ...
Happy birthday, Claudiu!
It's pretty cool that we've been together for however long we've been together.
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
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