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I'm sorry but there's no "clear history" button for your vagina.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to know that if I act on ...
I can't believe how much I am not sick of you.
It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming for my vagina.
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