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Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the person is a complete idiot.
It's pretty cool that we've been together for however long we've been together.
Happy birthday, Claudiu!
Where should we drink lunch today?
Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.
I'm sorry but there's no "clear history" button for your vagina.
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming for my vagina.
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