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It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
I can't believe how much I am not sick of you.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming for my vagina.
I'm sorry but there's no "clear history" button for your vagina.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the person is a complete idiot.
It's pretty cool that we've been together for however long we've been together.
Happy birthday, Claudiu!
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
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