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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to know that if I act on ...
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming for my vagina.
I can't believe how much I am not sick of you.
I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
It's remarkable how long we've tolerated each other.
Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.
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