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I'm breaking up with my belly fat. Sorry, fat, you're just not looking good anymore.
I think we need some time away from each other forever.
Cheers to your breakup. It's about fucking time!
I wrote all of your opinions on toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with it.
So then I told him, "Let's just be friends!"
You don't like me? That's a shame. I'll pencil in some time to cry about it later. Right now, I'm busy enjoying my life, and I will be doing th...
It's not you, it's my horrible choice in men.
My life will never be the same without you. It will be much better.
that moment when you abandon the group prank call script and wing it... "IM FROM THE VA BCH DEPT OF DEA BUREAU.. WE'LL BE RAIDING YOU IN A HOU...
Always remember... Karma has no deadline
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