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You don't like me? That's a shame. I'll pencil in some time to cry about it later. Right now, I'm busy enjoying my life, and I will be doing th...
I wrote all of your opinions on toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with it.
So then I told him, "Let's just be friends!"
I wish I could order Karma like pizza and have it delivered in 30 min or less.
I'll have you know, I want to kiss your lips, and at the same time I'd like to punch you in the face for even considering hurting me.
It's not you, it's my horrible choice in men.
I'm breaking up with my belly fat. Sorry, fat, you're just not looking good anymore.
Please text me back so I know when it's a good time to call you to break up.
My life will never be the same without you. It will be much better.
People say you never know what you have until it's gone. Well, I know what I had and I'm glad you're gone.
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