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I wont cry for you, my mascara's too expensive.
I'm breaking up with my belly fat. Sorry, fat, you're just not looking good anymore.
Always remember... Karma has no deadline
Please text me back so I know when it's a good time to call you to break up.
Of course I realize how stupid I can be! Haven't you met my Ex?
My life will never be the same without you. It will be much better.
I wish I could order Karma like pizza and have it delivered in 30 min or less.
It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.
I would delete you off of my Facebook friends list, but then you wouldn't be able to see all the fun things I do without you.
Cheers to your breakup. It's about fucking time!
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