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I wont cry for you, my mascara's too expensive.
I wish I could order Karma like pizza and have it delivered in 30 min or less.
Cheers to your breakup. It's about fucking time!
I used to think you took my breath away then i realized I was just being suffocated by your bullshit!
I'll have you know, I want to kiss your lips, and at the same time I'd like to punch you in the face for even considering hurting me.
Sorry Dustin let's just be friends!
I would delete you off of my Facebook friends list, but then you wouldn't be able to see all the fun things I do without you.
I'm breaking up with my belly fat. Sorry, fat, you're just not looking good anymore.
I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them.
I wrote all of your opinions on toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with it.
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