I Wont Cry For You, My Mascara's Too Expensive. eCard

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I wish I could order Karma like pizza and have it delivered in 30 min or less.
I used to think you took my breath away then i realized I was just being suffocated by your bullshit!
It's not you, it's my horrible choice in men.
I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them.
Always remember... Karma has no deadline
that moment when you abandon the group prank call script and wing it... "IM FROM THE VA BCH DEPT OF DEA BUREAU.. WE'LL BE RAIDING YOU IN A HOU...
It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.
My life will never be the same without you. It will be much better.
People say you never know what you have until it's gone. Well, I know what I had and I'm glad you're gone.
I would delete you off of my Facebook friends list, but then you wouldn't be able to see all the fun things I do without you.