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Of course I realize how stupid I can be! Haven't you met my Ex?
I used to think you took my breath away then i realized I was just being suffocated by your bullshit!
My life will never be the same without you. It will be much better.
I'll have you know, I want to kiss your lips, and at the same time I'd like to punch you in the face for even considering hurting me.
I wont cry for you, my mascara's too expensive.
I'm breaking up with my belly fat. Sorry, fat, you're just not looking good anymore.
Please text me back so I know when it's a good time to call you to break up.
Always remember... Karma has no deadline
Life is too short to date a douche bag.
Anybody who’s said break ups are hard obviously hasn’t used shopping as a healing process.