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Sorry Dustin let's just be friends!
Please text me back so I know when it's a good time to call you to break up.
You don't like me? That's a shame. I'll pencil in some time to cry about it later. Right now, I'm busy enjoying my life, and I will be doing th...
I wish I could order Karma like pizza and have it delivered in 30 min or less.
I'm breaking up with my belly fat. Sorry, fat, you're just not looking good anymore.
that moment when you abandon the group prank call script and wing it... "IM FROM THE VA BCH DEPT OF DEA BUREAU.. WE'LL BE RAIDING YOU IN A HOU...
It's not you, it's my horrible choice in men.
People say you never know what you have until it's gone. Well, I know what I had and I'm glad you're gone.
Always remember... Karma has no deadline
I wont cry for you, my mascara's too expensive.
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