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Of course I realize how stupid I can be! Haven't you met my Ex?
I'm breaking up with my belly fat. Sorry, fat, you're just not looking good anymore.
Anybody who’s said break ups are hard obviously hasn’t used shopping as a healing process.
People say you never know what you have until it's gone. Well, I know what I had and I'm glad you're gone.
I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them.
Cheers to your breakup. It's about fucking time!
I wrote all of your opinions on toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with it.
So then I told him, "Let's just be friends!"
My life will never be the same without you. It will be much better.
You don't like me? That's a shame. I'll pencil in some time to cry about it later. Right now, I'm busy enjoying my life, and I will be doing th...
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