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Sorry Dustin let's just be friends!
Life is too short to date a douche bag.
It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.
I'm breaking up with my belly fat. Sorry, fat, you're just not looking good anymore.
Anybody who’s said break ups are hard obviously hasn’t used shopping as a healing process.
I wont cry for you, my mascara's too expensive.
that moment when you abandon the group prank call script and wing it... "IM FROM THE VA BCH DEPT OF DEA BUREAU.. WE'LL BE RAIDING YOU IN A HOU...
I used to think you took my breath away then i realized I was just being suffocated by your bullshit!
I'll have you know, I want to kiss your lips, and at the same time I'd like to punch you in the face for even considering hurting me.
I think we need some time away from each other forever.
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