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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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It's scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back.
Emelie 25! From a bunch of sexy bitches to another, Happy Birthday!
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Someday I'll be a 90 year old woman. With my same dirty mind and even dirtier mouth. It's going to be AWESOME.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
Happy 24 hours of constant Facebook notifications day.
Stop saying I'm hard to shop for. Surely you know where a liquor store is.
Happy anniversary of your escape from the womb.
Happy anniversary on escaping your mom's womb.
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