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I was going to make you a rum cake for your birthday. But now it's just a cake, and I'm drunk.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
Emelie 25! From a bunch of sexy bitches to another, Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to someone smart gorgeous, funny & kinda reminds me of myself!! From one fabulous bitch to another!!
Happy anniversary on escaping your mom's womb.
The best way to remember your 30th birthday, is not at all. Have fun.
Happy Birthday Joe!
Happy 24 hours of constant Facebook notifications day.
Someday I'll be a 90 year old woman. With my same dirty mind and even dirtier mouth. It's going to be AWESOME.
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