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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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Stop saying I'm hard to shop for. Surely you know where a liquor store is.
Happy anniversary on escaping your mom's womb.
Happy Birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
I was going to make you a rum cake for your birthday. But now it's just a cake, and I'm drunk.
Emelie 25! From a bunch of sexy bitches to another, Happy Birthday!
Someday I'll be a 90 year old woman. With my same dirty mind and even dirtier mouth. It's going to be AWESOME.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Happy 24 hours of constant Facebook notifications day.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
Your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar: Yung No Mo.
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