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Confession
I'd let you kiss me on the mouth immediately after oral sex.
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Narcissism - It's my best friend.
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A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
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A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
The best part of my day is when my pills kick in. I love Unicorns!
I apologize that being a parent is very hard to fit into your schedule but what I did was canceled my life to make it work
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
If I were a Lannister you would be my sister.
I used to care, but now I take a pill for that
I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
My life is a very complicated drinking game.
I am not a complete idiot!!! There is a few parts missing.
Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.