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I was blessed with an awesome personality, a great ass, and a beautiful face. It just wouldn't be fair to the other girls if God gave me big boo...
Thanks. Your gift was absolutely perfect for someone who's not me.
Dear liver, Thanks for all the support last night. I couldn't have done it without you!
Thanks for texting me after the hurricane to see if I died.
Thanks for being my support. You're like a good bra, you always "perk" me up.
Thanks for ignoring all my calls and texts while updating your Facebook every 5 minutes from your phone.
Thanks for spending your parent's hard-earned money on me.
Thanks for going to great lengths to make feel okay about the size of my penis.
I don't have a "Honey-Do" list... I have an "I'll-Do-It-My-Fucking- Self" list! And surprise! The shit gets done!
"How beautiful a day can be, when kindness touches it!" ... George Elliston said
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