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Thanks for ignoring all my calls and texts while updating your Facebook every 5 minutes from your phone.
Thanks. Your gift was absolutely perfect for someone who's not me.
Thanks for going to great lengths to make feel okay about the size of my penis.
I don't have a "Honey-Do" list... I have an "I'll-Do-It-My-Fucking- Self" list! And surprise! The shit gets done!
Your gift was absolutely perfect for someone who's not me.
Thanks for being my support. You're like a good bra, you always "perk" me up.
"How beautiful a day can be, when kindness touches it!" ... George Elliston said
Darling, it was the best 30 seconds, ever. Really.
Thanks for spending your parent's hard-earned money on me.
Thanks for texting me after the hurricane to see if I died.
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