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I used to think you took my breath away, then I realised I was just suffocating on your bullshit.
Just remember that fireworks looks even more amazing when you're not constantly checking your iPhone.
We should celebrate this great nation of immigrants as soon as I see your proof of citizenship.
Happy Independence Day to all adults still living at home with their mother.
Sometimes I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
You can't fix stupid but you can watch it in action everyday at Parker Hannifin.
Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall
Let's proudly wave our American flags made in China. Happy 4th Of July!
I drink coffee for your protection.
If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first.
