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Happy birthday, America!! I was going to get you a gift, but I had no money left after taxes.
I drink coffee for your protection.
If you serve me veggie burgers at your 4th of July BBQ I will slap you silly.
Than God our Founding Fathers didn't decide to declare independence in winter.
Let's take a break from complaining about America to celebrate America.
The 4th of July used to mean something. Now it's just a reminder for Walmart to put out Halloween decorations.
We should celebrate this great nation of immigrants as soon as I see your proof of citizenship.
This July 4th, let's celebrate our freedom to be trapped for five hours in horrifying standstill traffic.
When I go to Blanchette's wall, I fully expect train wrecks. They're my favorite!
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