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May your life be one day so awesome like you pretend on Facebook :)
If you pulled your head out of your ass, your life wouldn't seem so shitty.
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
Please stop wishing upon me...I'm a different kind of star
You're a whore! Case closed.
I'd rather have you stare at my boobs than at your phone on our date.
Nothing says I LOVE YOU more, than a variety box of prescription drugs.
Men say a women's place is in the kitchen, just remember, that's where all the knives are.
Oh, Gothenburg is going to be lovely! Just what I need right now ;)
Today is the: Hug a Vegetarian Day
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