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Men say a women's place is in the kitchen, just remember, that's where all the knives are.
Oh, Gothenburg is going to be lovely! Just what I need right now ;)
Nothing says I LOVE YOU more, than a variety box of prescription drugs.
Please stop wishing upon me...I'm a different kind of star
May your latest relationship last longer than a seal during Shark Week.
If you pulled your head out of your ass, your life wouldn't seem so shitty.
Life is too short. Never pass up the opportunity to make someone smile, or tell someone they’re a moron.
May your life be one day so awesome like you pretend on Facebook :)
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
You're a whore! Case closed.
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