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4th of July
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I am not sure if a handful of Xanax counts as your "Something blue".
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Did you hear scientist found a new food that decreases a women's sex drive by 95%? It's called a Wedding Cake
More Wedding planning? ...ain't nobody got time for that!
The key to a happy marriage is to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
You're cordially invited to witness a large chunk of our parent's saving disappear in a five-hour time span.
May your regrettable behavior this weekend occur primarily off-camera.
Congratulations on sleeping with the same person for the rest of eternity.
Congratulations on probably not dying alone.
People say the secret to marriage is make sure you marry your best friend. Well, unfortunately I'm not a lesbian so you'll have to do.
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