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4th of July
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Thinking of you
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Congratulations on sleeping with the same person for the rest of eternity.
I am not sure if a handful of Xanax counts as your "Something blue".
May your regrettable behavior this weekend occur primarily off-camera.
Let's decide who we're inviting to our wedding and who will never speak to us again.
People say the secret to marriage is make sure you marry your best friend. Well, unfortunately I'm not a lesbian so you'll have to do.
Congratulations on probably not dying alone.
Did you hear scientist found a new food that decreases a women's sex drive by 95%? It's called a Wedding Cake
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
You're cordially invited to witness a large chunk of our parent's saving disappear in a five-hour time span.
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