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4th of July
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Thinking of you
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You're cordially invited to witness a large chunk of our parent's saving disappear in a five-hour time span.
Did you hear scientist found a new food that decreases a women's sex drive by 95%? It's called a Wedding Cake
People say the secret to marriage is make sure you marry your best friend. Well, unfortunately I'm not a lesbian so you'll have to do.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
I am not sure if a handful of Xanax counts as your "Something blue".
More Wedding planning? ...ain't nobody got time for that!
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Congratulations on sleeping with the same person for the rest of eternity.
Let's decide who we're inviting to our wedding and who will never speak to us again.
May your regrettable behavior this weekend occur primarily off-camera.
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