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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Congratulations on probably not dying alone.
I am not sure if a handful of Xanax counts as your "Something blue".
Congratulations on sleeping with the same person for the rest of eternity.
Did you hear scientist found a new food that decreases a women's sex drive by 95%? It's called a Wedding Cake
The key to a happy marriage is to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
May your regrettable behavior this weekend occur primarily off-camera.
More Wedding planning? ...ain't nobody got time for that!
Let's decide who we're inviting to our wedding and who will never speak to us again.
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