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4th of July
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Thinking of you
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The key to a happy marriage is to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
People say the secret to marriage is make sure you marry your best friend. Well, unfortunately I'm not a lesbian so you'll have to do.
I am not sure if a handful of Xanax counts as your "Something blue".
May your regrettable behavior this weekend occur primarily off-camera.
You're cordially invited to witness a large chunk of our parent's saving disappear in a five-hour time span.
Congratulations on probably not dying alone.
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
More Wedding planning? ...ain't nobody got time for that!
Let's decide who we're inviting to our wedding and who will never speak to us again.
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