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I think we need some time away from each other forever.
I wrote all of your opinions on toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with it.
I'm breaking up with my belly fat. Sorry, fat, you're just not looking good anymore.
Cheers to your breakup. It's about fucking time!
that moment when you abandon the group prank call script and wing it... "IM FROM THE VA BCH DEPT OF DEA BUREAU.. WE'LL BE RAIDING YOU IN A HOU...
My life will never be the same without you. It will be much better.
I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them.
I wont cry for you, my mascara's too expensive.
Please text me back so I know when it's a good time to call you to break up.
Of course I realize how stupid I can be! Haven't you met my Ex?
